It seems like it's going to be one of those nights where I go to a bar and drink and entire pitcher to myself... and I'm making it out to be a bad thing? Lately I've been going out, drinking a fugload of beer and then somehow making it home. I keep vaguely remembering these awesome encounters with street randoms. Jaques and his Rottweiler Buddy. The homeless guy I gave free drugs and cigarettes too for no reason except for that I was wasted and wanted to talk to someone.
Mowgles is gone for an undetermined amount of time to NYC and beyond, leaving me with the apartment to myself. It's nice except for the fact that I have to clean up the whole place... again... for the second time in a week. There's pizza crust all over the place, and he didn't do the dishes like he said he would before he left... but y'know what, life goes on. I'll clean it and I'll feel better and I won't let anyone inside this fucking apartment. But only because I'm a fucking bitch.
I think I'm just being a bitch because I haven't gotten laid in almost a month. Which by the way isn't right. Anyway, sex soon or myheadesplodes. My job still sucks and everyones a fucking prick.
ANGST HARRRR. Anyway, anyone who hasnt been to chickensluts.com should go because it is my baby. Look at all my friends (half)naked now. Be freaked out, be inspired, be horny, be offended, howevathefuck you wanna feel, feel it and then get naked and put it on and be joyfully delighted.
I don't know where my heads at anymore. Sometimes it's like, boom chik boom chik swashhh! and other times it's all like DUDGE DUDGE DUDGE BOOM BOOM (fist up, smashing the air).
I work work work play work work work stay up late work work work drink beer work work work scream at my house for eating all my fucking belongings!
Anyway, now for some real nonsense. I don't wanna grow up, I wanna eat throw up out of the queens mouth! So anyway, Moomoo told me about these TOPOGRAPHIC maps that the ROM was just going to tossss out into the trash, so me, being the mapetarian that I am decided that my house would be an ideal hideout for my now unwanted 1980s era topographic maps of ALL of Canada... and when I say... ALL OF CANADA I MEAN ALLLL of Canada. Name a latitude and longitude and I assure you we have it. (This is a hint for you to say OOOH I WANT MAPS ;) ). Anyway, maps maps maps.
I work all day and make fun of my co-workers and throw shit at them. It's actually like the sweetest office job of all time... but do not forget that it IS IN AN OFFICE. Cubicle pod is sucking out my brains and the radiation from the computer screen is making my vision a coy shade of turquoisey pink.
Anyway, John Waters is like the funniest shit of all time. My new inner thought voice is now dubbed by the one and only DIVINE. So whenever I think of a brilliant idea it is all read in my head by DIVINE. I'd let you bake me in your oven sweetums.
Anyway, this post is entirely random and pretentious like all of the members of fato apparently. I should go to bed and let this journal die sweet sweet death.
My life has been some sort of up and down roller-coaster for the past all the time.
I'm living at Bathurst and Harbord now with my platonic life-mate Jeffrey. See below:
We are both dirty slutty hoors. My job is slowly sucking my soul for $16 an hour, which I think might be an alright price to pay. Not that that means I have any money anyway. Even if you make a lot of money doesn't necessarily mean you'll have any money at the end of the week. I gotta fix that but unfortunately I lack any sort of budgeting abilities. Gotta grow up, gotta be responsible and all that jibber-jabberish bullcrapery.
At least last week wasn't as bad as the week before. Totally stressing because of fucking demanding sales reps trying to take advantage of my awesome calm and awkward demeanor. My managers/bosses are very understand though and told them all to fuck themselves. I still am piled up wracking my brain with different projects and trying to keep about thirty sales reps happy.
In other news, I have this polish boy who I am crazy for. He's so very sexy and bearded and talented. We drink beer and talk incessantly and laugh and then fall asleep naked and panting. I'm not sure if that's too much information or if he would be embarrassed if he read that. But no matter for that is the truth. I went to good ol' Montreal with him and his band couple of weekends ago. Unfortunately a lot of things went wrong. His car got busted into and his window smashed and some french crackhead stole his bass. It was his first bass and only bass that he had had for almost 8 years. I wish I had enough money to buy him a new bass 'cos I'd like to see him smile all big and nice like. I often dream of his beard. I'm not sure if that is weird or not. In other words, I want to travel with him because I think he'd be the best person to romp the world with. I could just picture us all rusky like running through the hills of Poland naked and laughing.
I've been partying a lot lately. Last night I went to the worst best party of my life. It consisted of getting fucked beyond oblivion and sitting on a table with my junk hanging out in a girls washroom in a no-longer used school in Markham. It was thrown by "torontoraves.com" and was hilariously hilarious. They played horrifying trance a lot of the night and so that was why I spent so much time in the washroom. This girl picked fights with us because our friend Graham who is the gayest of the gay was making out with a boy in the washroom. She was so offended by it that she demanded "privacy" because it was the "law". She was a dirty hoory cunt. Fortunately, Sasha and I had the biggest laugh of all time because of it. As soon as Slawek played I felt so much better though because his music always makes me grin huge and make me want to never stop dancing. Which is what I did; I danced for a good straight hour non-stoppedly. It was such a good release as all the burden of burden rolled off my shoulders like sticky sweet melted toffee.
Anyway, I'm going to stop with the text and start with some pictures:::: ( mrow )
So, I had a dream this morning that the records I just bought were melted by this hick who was trying to steal my apartment. My apartment was a portable with a kitchen. The lightswitches were in the shape of plastic fingers pointing up and down.
Then Steph called and woke me up and told me some fucked up news. Polish Pawel (you might remember him from a couple years ago... he was my boyfriend for a while, we lived together and did a lot of fucked up shit together) is dead. He apparently OD'd on fentanyl a couple days ago and was found dead.
I don't know how to feel, I feel pretty fucked up.
Yep.
In other happier news, I got a kitty cat from the Humane Society yesterday!!! His name is Pumpkin Mittens (pronounced mi'ens) Bowser of Templeton. He is a little cute bastard of love.
I'm really enjoying living in toronto, or more specifically PARKDALE. Totally 'hood-erific. You gotta love the homeless people and seeing people smoke crack and the graffiti and deliciousness of it all. I'm working for the guvernment nightclub which is pretty fucking ridiculous. Don't think it's something totally awesome 'cos it isn't really. I just stand around club land at night handing out flyers. I think the only reason why I like it is 'cos my boss Peter is awesome.
Clubland is hilarious. Clubbers drive me nutzz what with their tight clothes and superiority complexes, gucci sunglasses and italian leather shoes... smoking their du maus and pulling up their skirts. Clubs don't make any sense to me... they play horrible music (please don't let me hear anymore top 40 club crap or commercial house); they welcome you kindly to enjoy their alcoholic beverages ($10 a drink plz) but boot you out just as soon as you get drunk. If a bouncer even so much as sees you sway they're boot you out to the sidewalk in a heartbeat. everyone vs. everyone.
But who cares, it's a well paying job... and I can chain smoke and make people uncomfortable...!
Next week I'm getting a computer finally so I will be back mirking everything and everyone.
I just moved into my new apartment hooorahh. Akiva and I are living at Queen and Dufferin (Gladstone). It's pretty nice, we have a bath and a sink and a bed and a brokenish tv and a really uncomfy wicker love seat. I'm pretty happppy.
Next monday we're going to go get a kitttttttttty! I can't wait; the house is so empty without a cute furry animal to pet and feed and love.
Anyway, whoever wants to come visit gimme a callll. 905 409 9304. Fuck yeah. I'm off to get some breakfast ye.
so lately: - been diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome; total rock! - won three free months of extreme fitness. - played lots of sims2 with mark. - feel like i have carpel tunnel; rock! - haven't been to a party in so long i'm about to cry. - vaginal ovules. - fungus. - have no sex drive. :\ - feel sick almost everytime i eat. - disappointment disappointment disappointment - BOY GEORGE BACKPACK FOUND!!!!!!
I had a very eventful morning today. I was taking a delicious jacuzzi bath (you all remember my bathtub, otherwise know as my pleasuretub of love) and if it isn't already obvious I was masturbating. I was almost done when suddenly... A GIANT MOTHERFUCKING SPIDER MOTHERFUCKER JUMPED ON MY FACE... after running out of my tub in a flat second I danced around in a towel whimpering and trying to beat the creepycrawly feeling all over my skin. I then turned around back to the tub and drowned the fucker for ruining my masturbation routine. I don't dislike spiders at all... but when a creepy spider gets in my motherfucking space ESPECIALLY when I'm masturbating... it's time to motherfucking die!!!!
It is now time to crawl into a fetal position and cry myself to sleep.
In other news, I think I'm madly in love with about four different men. I've been stalking around second cup all day and night waiting for the handsome, middle aged italian artist who smokes from a pipe and is apparently rich but drives a cheap car to come back. So far I've missed him twice! Severly attractive men are a serious health threat to me as I am going crazy over all of them.
think monogamy think monogamy think monogamy. being someones girlfriend is hard but it's worth it (hopefully).
I now hold the record for world's highest armsock mitten in the world. Jeff and Pokey are in Nepal and as they got to the Gokyo peak Jeffy left the armsock mitten I had given him at the peak. I am totally world famous. My mitten is at the very peak of Gokyo mountain! Jeez, I miss my boys. In a month and a half my boys will return to me from Nepal and so I can finally snuggle them to deeeeeeeeeeath.
IN OTHER NEWS WE'RE LEAVING FOR TEKNIVAL TODAY.
I'm more excited than a kid at xmas, seriously. In a couple hours we're getting into Mark's car and booking as far as we can from civilization... as soon as I get there I must kissss the wonderful ground (metaphorically). You all suck major ass for not coming.
teknival teknival teknival!
big ups to the wooly mammoth wooly massive and 'deir backstreet boys cru.
AJ - my favorite alcoholic NICK - whispers sweet nothings
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